We do not entertain as much anymore because of Derek. (He produces strain. We have to pretend he doesn't.) I used to like him when I still thought he was normal. I was fond of him. I used to call him Dirk, and Kiddo, Steamshovel, Dinky Boy, and Dicky Dare. Till I found out what he was. Now it's always formal: Derek.
... A COMPLETE FOOL OF MYSELF IN FRONT OF DEREK. ...
... OKAY, SO DEREK SAID THE DEEPEST THING. ...