Call me blasé—I do not mind, if by blasé is meant the world-weariness, intellectual, artistic, sensational, which can come to a young man of thirty. For I was thirty, and I was weary of all these things—weary and in doubt.
{i} Weltschmerz, mood of emotional nostalgic sadness; feeling of melancholy, apathy caused by sadness about life when seeing the the evils of the world